Welcome to:
You know it's going to be a
bad day when...
1.your
twin sister forgets your birthday.
2.you wake up face
down on the pavement.
3.you put your
bra on backwards and it fits better.
4.you call suicide
prevention and they put you on hold.
5.you see a "60
Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office.
6.your birthday
cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
7.your only son
tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
8.you want to put
on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren't any.
9.you turn on the
TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.
10.the woman you've been
seeing on the side begins to look like your wife.
11.you wake up to discover
that your water bed broke and then you realize that you don't have a water
bed.
12.your horn goes off
accidently and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on
the freeway.
13.you get a rejection
notice from the HUMOR Listserver saying that you're no longer funny
14.your doctor tells
you, "Well, I have bad news and good news..."
15.you open the paper
and find your picture under a caption that reads: "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!"
16.your ex-lover calls
and tells you he has 6 days to live, and that you'd better get the Test
17.you wake up at work
naked in front of your co-workers
18.when someone accuses
you of faking humor
19.your lover tells you,
"I'm sub-letting another apartment and the movers are here to move me."
20.you have an appointment
in 10 minutes and you just woke up
21.you need your chocoholic
fix and the government just banned chocolate!
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