Welcome to:
Famous Last Words
1.your twin sister forgets your birthday.
2.you wake up face down on the pavement.
3.you put your bra on backwards
and it fits better.
4.you call suicide prevention and
they put you on hold.
5.you see a "60 Minutes news team"
waiting in your outer office.
6.your birthday cake collapses from
the weight of the candles.
7.your only son tells you he wishes
Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
8.you want to put on the clothes
you wore home from the party, and there aren't any.
9.you turn on the TV news and they're
displaying emergency routes out of your city.
10.the woman you've been seeing on the
side begins to look like your wife.
11.you wake up to discover that your water
bed broke and then you realize that you don't have a water
bed.
12.your horn goes off accidently and remains
stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
13.you get a rejection notice from the
HUMOR Listserver saying that you're no longer funny
14.your doctor tells you, "Well, I have
bad news and good news..."
15.you open the paper and find your picture
under a caption that reads: "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!"
16.your ex-lover calls and tells you he
has 6 days to live, and that you'd better get the Test
17.you wake up at work naked in front
of your co-workers
18.when someone accuses you of faking
humor
19.your lover tells you, "I'm sub-letting
another apartment and the movers are here to move me."
20.you have an appointment in 10 minutes
and you just woke up
21.you need your chocoholic fix and the
government just banned chocolate!
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